Monday, August 14, 2017

Have Leo Take a Bite out of Kitts-Katts





Who's in charge at UNA? Is it the pointy-headed Kenneth Kitts? Is it the over the hill David Shields? Is it the board that usually has their heads up their arses?

My wife and I have three daughters. One is already in college at UNA. She won't be in the spring semester. She'll be at UAH and her sisters will follow.

Did anyone check out Kitts' credentials? How about a background check? Why did he leave his home state and a position he'd held for only a short time? Is there something the people of Florence and the Shoals need to know?

All these clowns need to leave the university, the town, and the state. Not sure where Shields is originally from, but Kitts isn't homegrown. Maybe we should be like in those movies with demons where the priest commands them to return from whence they came?

The Shoals Tatler

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Jacob Modas Hit a Little Ol' Lady!


No, she wasn't the little ol' lady from Pasadena. She was the one from Elgin. Why did Jacob Modas hit her? Some guys just like to beat up on women, we guess, and choose the ones they think won't fight back. How old is Jacob? I'll take a stab at 20. How old was his victim? I'll guesstimate 70. You liking this dude so far? 

If you read our last blog, you know about the Steve Modas-Shane Dabbs feud. Gentleman Jacob, Steve's son, decided to take it to the next level last Friday. So Terry Holden says the cops are looking for Jake the Rake if they haven't found him already. You keeping up? If you aren't, here's a little audio-visual for ya. It's a little windy, but I think this guy is lucky to have that much wind left to say all this after foul-mouthed Jake attacked him.



And I gotta ask about that cute little furball of Modas's. You know the one Steve loves better than Jacob. Does the health department give Modas a free pass to keep him in the store? Looks like Big Steve needs an attorney on speed dial.


The Shoals Tatler

Monday, July 3, 2017

Why Is Steve Modas Mad at the World?





How many of the Tatler's readers follow Steve Modas on Facebook? Probably quite a few.

The Tatler and his lovely other half once knew Steve and his first wife. I can remember when he wanted to sue Elrod's Hamburgers for selling him a burger with maggots in it. No jive, he really did.

Steve, sometimes known as Big Steve, is always mad at someone because that person dissed him or has more friends than he does or some other really, really great reason. 

Since the Tatler has been following him, he's had a feud with a political candidate. Well, who hasn't? Oh, wait, the Tatler hasn't.

Then there was the Rogersville police officer. Say, what was that about? 

There was also the Rogersville volunteer firefighter/banker. I think that was over alcohol. Modas makes his living selling the evil brew, so questioning the effect on community must be off limits as far as he's concerned.

The Lauderdale County School Board? He may have been right about that one, but he sure got a lot of mileage out of it. 

Shane Dabbs. Not sure what Dabbs actually does but he was once a bigwig with Arx Mortis. He also has his own podcast type news program. Is that why he ran afoul of Modas? The whole thing seems to be escalating with rival camps, lines drawn on Highway 72 and riding crops at dawn. This one might be worth watching.

Local blogger O.B. Schweighardt. Didn't he once sing the praises of Modas? Now he's on Facebook calling him "Modass" and accusing him of dating a blowup doll. 

Modas' second ex-wife. He just can't keep 'em, can he? Maybe she should come back and bring some popcorn?

Until next time (a day I'm off and my wife doesn't want something painted), I'm the Shoals Tatler

Friday, May 19, 2017

Did Someone Say Media Wars?



I've been conscripted to moderate the Media Wars. By whom, you ask? Why, my wife, of course. The first thing is to determine how many viable online news outlets we have in the Shoals. Maybe more than you think or maybe less. Let's go in alphabetical order.



Pen-N-Sword: Sure, I read it every day. They had a virus problem for a long time, but now that it's cleared up, it's booming. Good choice for crime and humor.

Quad-Cities Daily: I read this publication every day as well. Great for local event photos and for those who follow chamber of commerce shindigs. It's booming, too.

Shoals Daily: I check in here maybe once a month. It has real potential, but no one's putting anything into it. Who owns it? They can do better, as in at least publishing something. It's dying. I just hated not to include it.

Shoals Insider: No, I don't read every day, but do check in about twice a week. Between all us media insiders like you and me, the owner needs help in more than one way. Mainly a good read only if you like press releases.

Did I leave anyone out? If I did, you can contact me on my Facebook page and threaten to have me arrested for a capital crime. How's that?

What comes next? I'm going to do a Facebook comparison chart of the four and my site as well. I'll try to post the data every week. 

Now the fun begins!

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Thursday, January 19, 2017

When "Forklift's" Kids Turned Bad


Forklift
James Paul Fulmer Jr. was called "Forklift." Hey, who wouldn't want a name like that? It's not quite "Tank," but it's still pretty gosh darn imposing. Somewhere along the way Forklift married, fathered two girls, divorced, and then hooked up with Sherri. 

When Forklift suddenly dropped dead early last November, obituaries called this live-in girlfriend his "soul mate." Soul mate? He never cared enough to marry her and listed himself as "single" on Facebook. Did someone forgot to tell Forklift about the special relationship?

Looks like things turned ugly after the funeral. In late November Forklift's daughters Brandy and Brittany were forced to resort to visiting their father's house in Killen while Sherri was at work. Once there they loaded up several valuable items and hit the road, but not before Sherri's friend next door took some candids of the impromptu move. Guess that answers the question of neighborhood watch effectiveness.

Now here's where Sherri could have acted the classic fallen woman with a heart of gold, but she didn't. Instead of refusing to press charges against her lover's offspring, Sherri had them arrested for burglary, theft, and criminal mischief. So Forklift's daughters got their mug shots in the local rag, and Sherri got to prove she's a real fluffer.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Tanya Wallis Not Drug Free

Did Tommy Wallis shoot his wife Tanya in the head and claim she tried to commit suicide? The Shoals Tatler thinks he did and more importantly a jury thought so also. Twelve honest jurors gave Wallis a life sentence, but there was more to the story.

The tattooed Tommy had previous arrests for stalking and drug trafficking. Badass Tommy wasn’t alone in the drug trafficking. Wifey Tanya was also arrested but hubby Tommy tried to take her out before they went to court. Little Tanya always claimed her total innocence, portraying herself as a loving mother and abused spouse.

Now Tommy languishes in prison while 35 year-old Tanya…does what? Florence cops knew what she was doing on December 18 when they arrested her for paraphernalia possession and use. No word on where the two kids were.

Tanya Marie Jackson Wallis soon made bail and spent Christmas at home. Jon Thomas Wallis spent Christmas in the big house.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Anna Greer - Certified Vandal


It's official that Anna Greer, a Florence High School Student, is one of two vandals photographed at the old railroad bridge with a can of red spray paint. She committed a misdemeanor so she'll face only a Sheffield Municipal Court judge. Has she flipped on her friend? Surely someone knows the friend's name. Ah, another story for another day.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Debut


Welcome to the Shoals Tatler. We're a lot of things here, but politically correct isn't one of them. So sit back and enjoy our on dits as we educate, elucidate, amuse, surprise, and even shock you.